bbcovert@juno.com

In our anxiety to prove our competence as homeschool teachers, we may succumb to feelings of inadequacy when our own little darlings don’t learn at the speed of light like those homeschooled geniuses. You know, the ones whose amazing stories are spread in books, magazines, and occasionally newspapers. Even though we know better than to compare our children to each other, much less to unrelated children, we can’t help expecting our children to perform as well as other homeschoolers. When they don’t, we take it personally. We believe that their success, or lack thereof, is a reflection on our teaching skills. Instead of allowing them to learn at their own pace, we try to accelerate their education. “That girl finished homeschooling at age 16 and went to college? Then my child will graduate at age 14 and go to college on a full scholarship!” 

STOP! Hit the brakes! Let’s think about this. I remember our kindergarten days. Though the teacher’s manual reminded me daily that the material was presented for exposure, not mastery, I still found myself hyperventilating when the light bulb above my children’s heads stayed dark after a lesson in addition or phonics. “If one plus two equals three, then two plus one is also THREE!! Wake up!” A few times, I clapped my hands together as I recited the words in a word family. “Hat, cat, fat, mat, sat–how can you not GET that?” I cried with tears in my eyes. Have you experienced days like that, wondering if you’d made a big mistake? Maybe you panicked thinking that either something was wrong with you or else something was wrong with your children. I can laugh now, but it wasn’t funny then. 

With seven years of experience behind me, I have the confidence to encourage you to relax. Give it time. Let your children learn at their own pace. If the math isn’t clicking, break the lessons down into smaller portions. What’s it going to hurt if it takes five days to complete one lesson? If you still aren’t seeing the light bulb flash over your student’s head, why not skip that chapter and go on to something else? Trust that they will eventually comprehend the concept. Don’t panic. 

When it comes to reading, give it time. Why punish a reluctant reader with more and more reading assignments? Don’t force the issue. You can’t make someone enjoy reading. Yes, I know how important it is for our students to learn to read, but it is more important that they like to read! Chances are good that they will learn to read before they go job-hunting. Give it time. 

I used to have a reluctant reader. In 5th grade it took my son a month or more to read one book, and it was a book below his grade level! Reading was a challenge for him; he preferred to look at pictures and captions rather than read. Instead of insisting that he read a prescribed number of pages a day, I read to him. I would choose a good book–often a mystery–and read only two chapters a day. Oh, how anxiously he awaited the next reading! I also let him see me reading and hear my laughter over the funny parts. Furthermore, I realized how challenging a page full of text was for him, so I gave him comic strip collection books (that passed my inspection) and riddle books. He could read something very short and get a laugh from it. Do you see what an accomplishment that was for him? It wasn’t much of a struggle to understand the words. He began to enjoy reading!

Because he loves learning about animals, we would borrow animal books from the library. Often he only looked at the pictures and read the captions, but sometimes he would read some of the text in order to learn more about an interesting animal. Slowly, he began to gain an interest in reading. I never succumbed to the urge to make reading a chore. I made sure plenty of books were available. I let my love for books show in every trip to the library or bookstore! 

Guess what! This child hit 6th grade with a love for reading! He’s now reading two or three books a week! He’s investigating books that his friends are reading. While he still likes books on reptiles and insects, he also checks out how-to books as well as science fiction. He has read and enjoyed a number of classics. He devours them and tells me about them with excitement in his voice. Occasionally he will point at a word and ask me what it is, but that happens less often these days.  

I like what Mary Hood, Ph.D., said in her book, The Joyful Home Schooler. She said, “Remember that slow doesn’t mean stupid. Turtles are slow because God made them that way. So are some kids. So are some parents and educators, for that matter!” Your children will learn what they need to know in order to accomplish the purpose for which our Heavenly Father created them. He is still on His throne. Enjoy the education process along the way, and remember to give it time. 

Happy homeschooling!

Copyright 2004 by Brenda B. Covert